"pondering"

While my children were playing today I was able to read a little.  As I was reading my mind began to wander.  My mind talks to me sometimes...(I KNOW THERE IS A NAME FOR THAT~ LOL).  Anyway, my mind "REMINDED me that Jesus loved everyone BUT...he was especially fond of those who were deemed "unlovable".  You know the type, the difficult type.  For example, Mary Magdalene has been said to be a prostitute.  He loved the Woman at the Well and forgave her sins.  He touched a Leper and made him whole.  Well obviously these are just a few that Jesus "loved" when others didn't or felt they shouldn't/couldn't. 

If you know me well you will understand why my mind wandered to this while watching my children play.  I get so frustrated at times because mental illness is so difficult to watch.  It is so hard to see your precious child suffer from something that OUR doctors have found no cure.  My mind wanders A LOT!  I wonder what will happen when I am not there to protect my child.  Who will "fix" what my child has broken...WHO WILL LOVE MY CHILD when I can no longer be here to do that?  Who will love my child when they are no longer a child but an adult with these "issues"??  Who will take the time to understand that behaviors are NOT always learned behaviors.  Who will love without question? 

I am so thankful that we have a Lord who will LOVE US UNCONDITIONALLY.  I am thankful that I KNOW that Jesus love my children because they were HIS children first.  He just allowed me the experience of raising them...of loving them. 

Many days are hard, difficult days.  If you haven't experienced a child with disabilities then thank the Lord for your blessings.  If you have experienced a child with disabilities, then thank your Lord because I feel that he "hand picks" people to parent his "special" children.

"LORD HELP ME HOLD ON TODAY...help me understand that I can't change certain things but help me to remember ...
YOU CAN~"