Friday, June 8, 2012

For this Child I Prayed (& begged & made deals & screamed & ...)

This blog will be random. Just a warning. I have spent the day getting ready for Noah to have friends over tonight in celebration of his 15th birthday. Noah, my easy, good, happy, angel face child who was my gift straight from the Lord. Well, Noah was all those things then teenage hormones kicked in & stole some of his joy. Even I remember that being a teenager is a time of mixed emotions and conflicted beliefs. My goal is to talk with him about EVERYTHING! yep, even the embarrassing subjects that some parents refuse to broach. I GO THERE ! I have this belief that if I make nothing that we talk about off limits then he will feel comfortable talking to me one day if the actual need ever arises. We talk about drugs, driving, alcohol, relationships, how to treat others, what to do "if" (that can be a fun game with a teen). We talk about how people will always let you down - just a fact. we talk about HS friends being fickle & how they are probably not his forever friends. We talk about Jesus, we talk about Heaven, we talk about Hell. WE TALK - I love this about my Noah ... We talk!!! I waited 36 yrs for my Noah and God knew just the child for me! He has been my heart & my soul. I assure you that I do not love him MORE than I love my beautiful loving daughter or my miracle sweet little man who will always be my baby. NO, I do not love Noah more, I love him differently. If you are taking the time to read my rambling then you probably know Dave & I both had fertility issues so making a genetic replica of "us" wasn't possible - well... It wasn't 't possible for us but the Lord handled it well! Noah is so much like me in ways that it is amazing. GOD HAS THE BEST TIMING and let me remind you he keeps his promises. SO, Noah as you turn 15 this weekend I want you to know how much you are loved. How much you were wanted & how we will LOVE YOU FOREVER! From the first pic with the 3D ultrasound you were my "angel face" and that you will always be. Happy Birthday to my fisherman with a big heart & strong will! I look forward to seeing you make your mark on our World! choose laughter Noah - choose happiness! momma

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Autism -

If you're a parent with a child on the spectrum, you've probably responded to the same annoying remarks and questions a thousand times. Here's a handy list of responses'll probably never use out loud (but are fun to imagine using)!
1. He can’t be autistic -- he can talk! (or make eye contact, smile, engage)
And yet, amazingly, he’s still autistic! Y’see, autism is a spectrum disorder, and that means …
2. Oh, she must be SO good at math! (or science or music)
Actually, her great talent is in memorizing and reciting lines from Sponge Bob videos! (Or those annoying Thomas the Tank Engine songs!)
3. All he needs is more discipline, and he’ll get the message.
Yup, it’s true -- if you give a child enough time outs, he’ll just stop being autistic. And if I speak French to you loudly enough, you’ll become fluent!
4. You poor thing, it must be so upsetting to have a child with a disability.
Yes, it can be hard. And pity really helps me to get through the day and feel better about myself and my child. So…thanks so much!
5. Will he be able to go to college (or get married or hold down a job)?
Hm. Good question. By the way, has your daughter’s divorce been finalized yet? And I’m so sorry to hear that your son was recently laid off from his job…
6. I have a friend whose child was autistic, and she cured him!
Wow! So I guess she’s enjoying the millions she made after figuring out how to cure autism? I bet her second home is a yacht!
7. If she can’t behave properly, you shouldn’t BRING her to the grocery store!
Wow -- that would be great. Should I fax you my grocery list, or send it by email? I’ll really enjoy the delivery service!
8. We can’t include him in typical classes, it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids.
Hm, that’s an interesting perspective. So I guess you have a pretty big endowment to pay for all the law suits? That must be great!
9. We can’t accept her at our school because she doesn’t have a learning disability
Ohhhh… what a shame! Oh, wait, look, she’s suddenly developed dyslexia! Can she come to your school now?
10. You should make more time for yourself!
You’re so right! So will you be babysitting tonight or tomorrow night?

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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

So ready for the Beach

This winter has been INTERESTING  in KnoxVegas!  We just don't get winters like this one, or at least we haven't since the 80's.  I think we all have cabin fever and are looking forward to a change of pace and PLACE.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

3 days til Christmas - JESUS BIRTHDAY

with all the hustle and bustle I create for myself I am trying and trying to keep a "calm" around my children not letting them know that Momma hasn't finished shopping or cleaning the house (ok they can tell on this one) or even wrapped ONE GIFT.  I try several times per day to remind them that the ONLY reason we celebrate Christmas is because God sent his son to be born of a virgin Mary....yep, gets lots of questions, what's a virgin? how'd he send him? Does God have super powers?  you know the drill... I try to remind myself as well that it doesn't matter how many gifts my children get or if their friends get the better gift or the IT gift.  I try to remind them and me that if they have JESUS in their hearts that this is the greatest gift of all!

Each day with my "special" children can be so taxing.  As I watched Grace yesterday, home from school where she had missed her medication, literally bouncing from place to place and talking so fast that I know even SHE had no idea what she was saying, I was still thankful that she is in my life.  She is a true handful and I worry and pray for her mental health every single day.  She has such a good heart it's beyond difficult to watch her inner demons fight among themselves.  Pray for my little girl.  My Mother loved Grace so much.  Her last full sentence to me was to be gentle with Grace, take time and NOT to give up!  Momma, I am trying and I see your love when I look at my daughter.

Nathan is just full of wonder this Christmas time.  He lost his first tooth last week.  That is a big deal for a micro preemie because sometimes they have to be pulled instead of coming out on their own.  I think of the miracle named Nathan and how so many doctors thought he would just "not"....not be able to do so many things.  I LOVE to watch him accomplish each new thing...even the small things, I LOVE IT.  I LOVE hearing him say Momma come snuggle me...this from a child who could have easily had reactive attachment because for months in the NICU HE COULDN'T BE HELD!!!  He has bonded and for that I am grateful.  We take each day and when he drifts off to sleep each night I look at his little angel face and I am so thankful.

Noah is so grown now.  You know teenagers, they know so much.  The burden they carry on their shoulders is enormous.  I remind myself that one day, he, just like I did, will look back and say "My parents weren't so dumb afterall"...he's a GOOD BOY with a good heart!!!  He works harder at his studies than any child his age that I know....dyslexia causes him to work that hard.  I AM SO THANKFUL he hasn't become frustrated and given up.  I am thankful he words harder than he has to on his studies.  I want to be around to see what this young man does in his life.  It will be awesome I know.

Well they are all awake up and needing something so I will stop my ramblings.  I ramble mostly so that I will remember how I feel on these days...or that one day my children will want to read this and know how my heart felt.  IT FEELS FULL OF matter how tired I am, how discouraged I get, how behind I am, how dirty my house may heart if FULL of love - I LOVE MY BABIES!!!

Merry CHRISTmas friends....and CHRISTmas it shall always be in my household!!!


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

it's been a while/NEW Adventures of Old Simerly's

Wow...I haven't done this "blog" thing in a while.  I can't seem to find time to shower much less write in a blog.  (kidding of course).

Well since I have last posted Noah fell down the stairs at home, hit his head, thus a concussion.  Hopefully that is all healed now.  His latest injury is a broken foot.  The bone between his big toe and his foot (you know on the GROWTH PLATE) well he broke that!!!  Just walking, bless his heart.  He is growing SOOO fast that his bones and his body can't keep up.  He has literally grown almost 6 full inches since January.  He's a big boy.  NOT FAT, just a big tall, big boy!  We are waiting til Monday to see if he will be able to play basketball this season.

Grace is growing tall as well.  I always thought she would be a short petitie little thing but nope, she is gonna be tall too.  She has (overall) had a better 4th grade experience than 3rd grade.  She has had some ups and downs but she is trying.  She is in the afterschool program at her school and it gives her time to socialize and get her "wiggles" out...I really think this was one of the best decisions I have made on her behalf.  It seems to be helping her get through the school day with a brighter outlook.  She knows she is gonna get to play with her girlfriends for 2 hours.

My little one, Nathan, who has just done SOOOO well up to this point is starting to have a few "issues" with behavior at school.  He has found that he HAS a voice (remember we were told he may never walk or talk) and he uses this voice to say NO.  Sometimes he says "NO" to people he should NOT say no to!  Just this week he has decided he didn't WANT to participate in what they were doing in gym so he said "NO" can't make me....AND HE DIDN'T!  Well, if that didn't humble a parent enough, the very next day he decided he didn't want to participate in MUSIC either so he "JUST SAID NO".  Wow, now if I can make sure he will JUST SAY NO to drugs as a teen right?   I have found that this little boy can be the most stubborn of my children.  When I do stop to really think about him though, how on earth could he have gotten to this point in life if he hadn't been stubborn.  15.5 ounces, 9 inches and 20 blood transfusions in the first 3 months of life.  Retina's detached & put back on....oh I could go on and on but you get the picture.  He is ONE STUBBORN lil' boy!

I have done a lot of soul searching the past few months and have come to some new "AHhhhh HAaaa" moments.  I need to elaborate on those but hubby just walked in the door and I need to get dinner ready for the family.  Tonight is Church night!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Beginning of the second week/NEW Beginnings

Here it is Sunday evening and I am full of mixed emotions again.  I give my children and hubby back to the World tomorrow.  It's back to school and work.  I feel so safe when they are right here within my grasp.  Silly isn't it?  I know my "birds" need to fly.

Speaking of which, this first week of school has been a great week for the kids.  Everything is new and fresh in the beginning isn't it?  Just like a baby, who doesn't LOVE a new baby?  (ok you can't count the sleepless nights cause that can make us all second guess it).  The new feeling will wear off soon (back to school now) and I hope and pray that when it does we are left with a peaceful understanding that will guide us through.  Heaven knows we had enough struggles in the 2009/2010 school year to last for a few years.  THAT was a rough year for BOTH my older kiddos. 

Now, something that is not NEW this week, my dad gum knee.  I hurt my knee again which has made me have to sit a lot this weekend and AS USUAL my precious husband stepped up to the plate.  One day I am going to write a complete blog on how God has blessed me with such a wonderful husband and Daddy to our kiddos.  I have my steriod shot SERIOUS OUCH scheduled for Tuesday and I am hoping I don't have to "abort" this one like last time.  I am ready for some relief.  GETTING OLD IS FUN! time for that here.

Well I just wanted to update myself as to my week so I can fill in the gaps later.  Hopefully this NEW week will bring happy memories and good times!

Friday, August 13, 2010


While my children were playing today I was able to read a little.  As I was reading my mind began to wander.  My mind talks to me sometimes...(I KNOW THERE IS A NAME FOR THAT~ LOL).  Anyway, my mind "REMINDED me that Jesus loved everyone BUT...he was especially fond of those who were deemed "unlovable".  You know the type, the difficult type.  For example, Mary Magdalene has been said to be a prostitute.  He loved the Woman at the Well and forgave her sins.  He touched a Leper and made him whole.  Well obviously these are just a few that Jesus "loved" when others didn't or felt they shouldn't/couldn't. 

If you know me well you will understand why my mind wandered to this while watching my children play.  I get so frustrated at times because mental illness is so difficult to watch.  It is so hard to see your precious child suffer from something that OUR doctors have found no cure.  My mind wanders A LOT!  I wonder what will happen when I am not there to protect my child.  Who will "fix" what my child has broken...WHO WILL LOVE MY CHILD when I can no longer be here to do that?  Who will love my child when they are no longer a child but an adult with these "issues"??  Who will take the time to understand that behaviors are NOT always learned behaviors.  Who will love without question? 

I am so thankful that we have a Lord who will LOVE US UNCONDITIONALLY.  I am thankful that I KNOW that Jesus love my children because they were HIS children first.  He just allowed me the experience of raising them...of loving them. 

Many days are hard, difficult days.  If you haven't experienced a child with disabilities then thank the Lord for your blessings.  If you have experienced a child with disabilities, then thank your Lord because I feel that he "hand picks" people to parent his "special" children.

"LORD HELP ME HOLD ON me understand that I can't change certain things but help me to remember ...